New Mom: The Expectations
New Mom: The Expectations We Have For Ourselves.
Before having children I feel like we all have had expectations of maternity leave/ postpartum time off. We’re going to be that Pinterest mom who goes to the gym, has time to be glam often, make every meal from scratch, be a crunchy mom. (Nothing wrong with being a crunchy mom! I try myself) ♥️
However, I don’t know about you, but I know I am so far from! I often bake to keep myself sane because it's my zone. However I had a nice list of what I thought I was going to do while on maternity leave..
It is usually a very happy occasion when a babino in born. but with the baby, come many expectations of the parents and, especially, the mother. aside from the obvious basic care like feeding, changing diapers & bathing, there are many other expectations & expectations we make ourselves while we're off of work.
Mama should be able to predict all the baby’s needs & provide them in an instant. She should know what kind of activities are appropriate in any stage of development, should be able to always soothe her baby, etc. The list goes on and on. Oh, and be happy & ready for whatever. Even the unsolicited advice.
As a first time mom, I absolutely wasn't sure what to do once we left the hospital but it started to come naturally. It's like a switch just flipped on. I was able to distinguish each cry, noise & body language. I was soo happy & over the moon. BUT I was also hit by a ton of bricks when reality set in.
I wasn't going to get back into the swing of things as quick as I thought and expected of myself. It took me a good 6 months!
The truth is, however, some moms, or most.. Struggle! Unrealistic expectation that we internalize before baby is actually here.. New mothers may not always be happy, fresh and strong. We may be exhausted, yearn for a break or simply be bored. Others are anxious about their ability to be perfect mothers, be the Pinterest mom.
Because of society’s expectations of mothers and their own expectations as a result, mothers often feel guilty for not being "perfect". I have had multiple times where I constantly question myself & my parenting. Let me tell you, I am sure you've heard it many times before, SOCIAL MEDIA IS A MERE HIGHLIGHT REEL. I often have my hair in a bun, no makeup on & veg out because I really enjoy it. My life isn't exciting every other day, I don't go out every day with my son because sometimes it's just not possible, I don't cook every meal, I eat junk just to be fed myself, and I struggled a lot as a first time mama & mild postpartum depression.
Many new moms struggle in the first few months postpartum, most of them eventually sail through the transition to parenthood successfully.. Others struggle more and for a longer time. About 15% of new mothers develop postpartum depression. A seriously debilitating mental health problem that robs the woman of her good quality of life and sense of joy and affects everyone in the family. I chat a little about my experience on my 4 month postpartum update here.
Being 9 months postpartum now, I feel like I finally have both feet on the ground. I am able to concur my exceptions I made for myself prebaby, with a little adjustments. :) Im an amazon prime mom. ;)
I hope you enjoyed this post & could relate! We need a little reminder sometimes that it isn't easy being a first time mom! We need to cut ourselves some slack.