• Week Twenty Five •
Oh 25 weeks, you have been a rollercoaster! I've been dealing with pregnancy carpal tunnel in my hands, calf cramping, anxiety & just overall being uncomfortable. This week is full of being uncomfortable BUT I know it's only going to get worse & I should find ways to deal with it. I think this week I am a little on edge as well.. I can complain & hear constantly "Just you wait"... Can I politely say SHUT UP!! Nothing is more irritating than hearing those three words, or another thing is "You're getting big!" .. Yes, I am aware. I have a growing boy in my uterus that is pushing up my organs. I totally understand why people say, pregnant woman, when mad are scary LOL Just my inner thoughts typing them out aren't very nice.. hahah sorry!
I had my maternity appointment on Monday and it went well, I went over the points I wanted to with my doctor and some concerns. After my appointment, my health anxiety decided to flare. It was an all day flare & awful. I felt sick to my stomach and had to force myself to eat or even feel like being productive. I went & did a couple of tests, booked my sugar challenge & got the call for my ultrasound that is set up for today. I've been leaking colostrum for a couple of weeks now but noticed last week it had a little blood tinge to it. Which is concerning. I, of course, have looked up causes and a couple of things could be happening but we want to rule out the worst of course. The big C word since it runs strongly on my mother's side of the family. Her mother had it, her sister Evelyn has it and my mother fought it too. My auntie Kathy is the only one who had been lucky not to have it. So I am sure you can understand why my health anxiety decided to go off the charts. The other day... As in yesterday, I woke up not wanting to get out of bed. Not wanting to go to work or do anything productive. Instead, I got myself up, made my smoothie, booked myself a manicure & thought to myself screw that! I've been in a small funk since Monday because of testing I need done as a precaution since breast cancer runs strongly on my mum's side of the family & it has given me anxiety, sadness & just over all feeling like I was going to go into a depression. I cried that morning over it because it really scares me!! I have a right to be scared but I will not let it take over my life or the rest of my week. I know exactly how it feels to fall into depression so if I ever get into a small funk like that again I'll be watching myself carefully. One thing I take a lot of the many things I take a lot of pride in is being aware of my emotions & speaking up to the right people to support me in the tough time. I know it's not easy for many so that is why I feel really good when I can ask for additional emotional support.
This weeks Mantra:
I am healthy,
I am greatful,
I am abundant,
I'm growing stronger mentally, spirituality, + physically everyday (seriously LOL)
Otherwise, I my diet has been phenomenal I'd say! With the except of a vegan cupcake or chocolate cake over the weekend. Heheh, I pulled the pregnant card on those treats & didn't feel bad what so ever! I have fresh veggies every day, I hit my protein intake & get all my vitamins. I've been a rockstar! I need a pat on the back. I do however, have one craving. PASTA yum yum yum and do need to drink more fluids per request of my doctor since I am having braxton hicks. I've already noticed a difference upping my water intake to 100oz a day.
I'm hoping week 26 will be better with the adjustments I will be doing. I have to start taking it easy & not being so hard on myself when I feel useless. It is SUPER hard for me to come to terms with it like I have said in previous posts.. It almost puts me in a sad mood for some time which really really sucks. I just feel like so many women out there who are pregnant are still thriving at this time during pregnancy & not having to slow down. I just feel like it's wrong of me but I am being recommended to take it easier. I hate being told to slow down & take it easy.. It really bothers me but I must try.
Thank you for reading my week by week blog posts! I love updating & creating. So much fun, I really appreciate the support! Now I must figure out or think about doing a baby shower I guess?! I mean, I don't want to miss out on that fun.